I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
