would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
