But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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