He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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