Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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