i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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