Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
