whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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