do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
