Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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