There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Randomize
