no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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