he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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