i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
