no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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