It's like God shit irony all over that family
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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