Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
