Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
two words...techno handjob
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
