I just made out with a guy for $7.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
