you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
