just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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