How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I deserve this hangover.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
