if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
