we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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