she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
