He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
