I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
