so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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