god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
