nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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