I have demons in me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You made out with two different species that night
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
