it wasn't lemon gatorade
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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