i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
