I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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