I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
