I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
