Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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