whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i've created a new STD.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I touched a dick in church today
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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