I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
