I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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