put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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