THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
