we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
