These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
