Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
