I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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