We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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