Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i've created a new STD.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
