WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
