I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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