NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
