I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
